The Adventures of Harry Chan

Compact Japanese style bungalow by Ikea

2011-12-22T07:56:00.001-08:00

A dog needs to live in a home. Pantau finished furnishing the new home with all new Ikea stuff. This is not even an advertisement, but Pantau loves Ikea stuff and she did our entire home with Ikea furniture. The led lights are spectacular and are also from Ikea. I love the new home as it is dog proof! It is amazing what you can do with a compact home. Our entire house is no bigger than 35sq.mtrs. That is the size of a large caravan or camper. We have a living area, dining area, separate hall with sliding doors, a large bedroom with king size bed, and a bathroom with shower and toilet. With the Ikea furniture it looks really modern Japanese. And that was the look Pantau was after, as she wants to be a role model for "self-sufficient eco-style-green-veggie- growing-organic-Japanese living and leave a small footprint. She likes style and comfort too, so she is trying to find a balance between comfortable and luxurious for as little money as possible and at the same time keep it simple and compact, no more than 35 square metres. The home messures 10 metres by 3,5 metres.

I had sex with a man and he didn't even notice it.

2011-11-07T08:44:00.001-08:00

This is me after an orgasm.

Today I had one of those pleasurable moments that I used to experience when having sex with lady bull terriers. But that was a long time ago. I have been so busy with Veronique that I had little time to think about sex. Veronique told me it was natural.

Today, Veronique had a man around. He sometimes comes to the house to do jobs with machines. I think he tries to make the house look nicer.

After he was done, he sat down at the table with Veronique and started talking about me because they mentioned my name every few moments. I got so excited that I went to the man to get a cuddle. I jumped up and put my paws on his lap. He was very nice to me so I licked his ears. He said he too had a dog living in his house and he liked dogs very much. He stroked me and cuddled me. I got so excited that I suddenly felt like doing the sex thing with him. So I could feel my penis going funny. Veronique and the man had no idea. They were talking and didn't see my big penis even getting bigger. And then I had an orgasm. Suddenly Veronique said: "O my God, I am so sorry, Ronald, normally he isn't that horny. I am so embarrassed."

But the man didn't care and said she shouldn't feel embarrassed. And then he said: "You can make some money with Harry's sperm."

Veronique was a little surprised. Mr. Ronald said that my sperm could make new bull terriers and that people were willing to pay for it. Veronique said: "O my God, Harry's been dripping sperm on the floor. Look, there are Euros squirting from his pipi."

They both had a laugh.

I already have many children in Europe and the USA, because I used to be a show dog. I believe people like my looks. I am strong and healthy and my pipi works very well.

I do hope that Veronique wants to sell my sperm, because then I could have sex again with a cute lady bull terrier. I am 6 years old, but it's still nice to have such pleasurable moments once in a while. Veronique always tells me she has a headache. But I was lucky today, because Mr. Ronald didn't mind me having my sperm all over his trousers. The man laughed and didn't mind. I think he understand how males work, whether they are of the humankind or doggykind.

Wwuff (the new woof).

Harry Chan, bull terrier extraordinaire.

PS. Veronique and I made a new video but we have some problems uploading large files because Holland is a developing country when it comes to wifi internet. Wifi in Africa and Asia works much better said Veronique. That is strange huh? One would think that everything is better in western Europe, but that is not true.

Harry Chan's game of Cluedo

2011-10-23T10:00:00.000-07:00

This is a murder scene.

Last night I felt inspired by Mark Haddon's The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. So I decided to act a little criminal myself.

Now have a look at the above photo. It's in black and white as the red blood might be a bit scary-looking. This is actually a re-enacted set of the crime scene.

The photo below shows my dog collar. The lady in the pet shop told my caretaker Veronique that these types of collars were very fashionable. They came in L, XL, and XXL. Veronique got me a size XL which is still a little large for me. We may need to punch an extra hole in it as it is easy for me to squeeze my egg-head through it. These types of collars don't really work for me, but they are fashionable.

That is why Veronique decided to build in some extra security in the form of this chain.

My caretaker enjoys the quality of both collars. The leather collar is great for her to grab me by and pull me away from un-edibles and little doggies. The chain is difficult for her to pull at. So that is why she came up with this construction. It looks fierce. Wwuff.

The photo below shows the combined fashion/security-collar.

And here follows another photo of the re-enacted crime-scene. We see a dog lying on his back, my combination collar with leash (lead in British English), that is attached to another leather belt. Let me talk to you a little about that leather belt on the right side of the photo.

Yes, here below you can see it in close-up. This belt was bought by Veronique in Utrecht 1982. It's the only belt she has ever owned. She would use it to buckle her Levis 501. The belt has travelled to 283 different cities in 26 different countries according to Facebook. Bangkok was the last foreign city the belt was in. The belt was there for 5 years. Before that, the belt lived next door to the Dalai Lama in the North Indian Himalayas for 7 years. So the belt has a lot of history.

But today the belt broke.

My lady's 1982 leather jeans belt has broken.

These days, my caretaker Veronique wears the belt around her waist so she has two free hands to operate a camera. It's also for security. Sometimes I run off like a race horse and throw my 80 pounds forwards, chasing a little dog, rabbit or piece of plastic. There's no stopping when I lose my mind and run away like an idiot. I am very sweet and smart, but as soon as I see a little doggy, I want to kill it. It doesn't need to be a real dog, a plushy-doggy is fine too. That is why Veronique never gives me a cute plushy. Cuddly toys don't last very long. I rip them apart in 5 seconds and then try to eat the Made-In-China stuffing. So my lady and I are always connected outdoors, me wearing my combination dog collar and she wearing her leather belt around her waist: her historic belt that has been in the presence of His Holiness the Dalai Lama.

So, with this information you should be able to piece a few things together.

Poor doggy. It was bleeding from the ear and neck.

Here we see the guy from a different angle.

For a moment we all thought he was dead.

Little boy dogs and girly dogs are on my menu, but I prefer boy dogs. This one was a boy dog. No doubt about it.

And there he was, lying on the ground in shock, bleeding a few drops of blood from his neck and ear.

So here's the story. Veronique and I went for a walk. Near the horses' stables we passed a very tall posh man with a very little doggy on a leash. Veronique waited and made sure there was enough distance between me and the dog. And then I took off... towards the doggy. I knew that I was attached by a lead to a leather 1982 belt around Veronique's waist, but I just forgot. It's like with porn. When it come to sex, you just lose your mind and even risk your own life and that of others (quote of the day from Harry's Little Red Book).

I could have pulled my lady over and knocked her down, but the belt just broke. That is why I was able to continue my race towards the doggy. It all happened within seconds. I bit the dog and wanted to kill it. I just hated that little doggy. I don't know why. It is just my instinct. Veronique remained calm and assertive while I was aggressive and assertive. My offensive action resulted in a tug of war between the man and Veronique, trying to pull me and the doggy off each other. Veronique grabbed my jaws and opened them, and then the doggy fell down to the ground, bleeding a few drops of blood from his ear and neck. I think I punctured his ear. I hope the little fag is a gay, so he can wear an ear-ring. Wwuff.

Veronique apologized ten thousand times to the man who was very understanding. Fortunately we live in a decent neighbourhood where most people are very polite. In other types of neighbourhoods people might react differently to a doggy-eating bull terrier. They may start screaming and threatening Veronique for my bad behaviour, but in our neighbourhood there is no such thing. They just say: "O dear, that is a rather fierce dog, ma'am. We could use a dog like that to protect our country house."

I am glad for Veronique, otherwise she would love me just a little less. The little doggy recovered rather quickly, but for a moment Veronique thought the doggy was dead. It was a type of doggy that cost over US 1500 but Veronique's insurance would cover that.

Tomorrow, Veronique is going to buy a new belt. A 2011 black leather belt that will connect me with her, and this new belt must never break, for Harry Chan shan't go into history as a doggy killer.

Anyway, it makes a nice story and Veronique wanted to test a new photo-editing programme.

Wwuff.

Harry Chan, Bull Terrier Extraordinaire.

O yeah, here I am showing Veronique how the doggy was lying down on the ground.

For what it's worth: Normally, it's those little F@#%kers that tend to bite me. Most little dogs are hysterical, they don't know how to behave and their owners are often as hysterical as their fashion dogs. They run towards me and bite me in my shoulder or legs. At the moment I have 3 wounds. One to my shoulder, one injury to my paw and that little doggy today bit me in my front leg.

I almost died today.

2011-10-08T09:03:00.000-07:00

I am so happy to be able to write this as I almost died today. Twice.

A little further down the street are very rich people with a house with 20 rooms and they have 9 garbage bins. There's always lots of good food to find, as those people are very messy. Although my caretaker always gets angry when I eat from the street, she couldn't stop me this time. I threw all my weight forward and managed to stick half a baguette into my throat. I couldn't swallow it and I couldn't breath either. My lady panicked. I fell down to the ground and had a strange fit. My hind legs were stretched behind me and started to shake uncontrollably. Then I passed out. When I woke up a minute later, my lady was crying and screaming and lots of people were standing around us. She massaged my stomach and had her hand in my throat to pull out the loaf of bread and to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre. I am lucky to have a caretaker who has done a 6 months First Aid course for humans, but she told me it worked on dogs too. After a few minutes I was able to move my legs again. Quite strange when half of your body is paralysed. Everybody was happy to see me alive. I was confused. As usual my first thought was food. Next to me was half the baguette and I just decided to repeat the scene. Yes. I just put the bread back into my throat which prevented me from breathing: Again!

How stupid can I be? How stupid can I be? How stupid can I be to repeat my mistakes, again and again. I am just like any other man: Do first, think later. I put something into my mouth, swallow it, and then realise that it was not something to eat. This is how many plastic objects enter my digestive system. My lady keeps a special latex glove in her coat pocket in case she needs to pull another piece of plastic out of my arse.

I do have a thing for my arse and I am not even gay, most of the time, that is. I like girls but the other day I wanted to have sex with a male Doberman and he just didn't like that and bit me in my bum. Anyway. I am alive. Still.

Below a few photos of the type of food my lady wants me to eat. It's what she normally cooks for me. She always makes sure the food is not only edible but also nutritious, healthy, full of fibers, and according to Japanese tradition, she likes to colour-coordinate the food-items.

Poultry with mashed potatoes with mashed cooked eggs.

Beef with snow peas and baby carrots, fresh tomatoes from our greenhouse, cucumber from the greenhouse and pieces of brown bread.

Mashed potatoes and eggs, topped with bread with meat, and organic tomatoes and cucumber from our greenhouse.

My lady said I looked like this, but my hind legs were both stretched and that was a scary sight she said. Especially when my legs started to tremble. This is a photo that was taken for the sexy magazine Porn Dog USA.

The art of happiness.

2011-09-21T00:10:00.000-07:00

It's been over six weeks or so that I moved to my new home. My trial period is over and my new lady has decided to keep me. I love her so I decided to behave myself and now she wants to have me forever. She said to me she liked me even better than her previous boyfriend because I don't know how to lie and cheat. The boyfriend didn't snore, though. I do. In fact I snore like a truck driver. She can even hear me through the walls when she is in her own doggy bed in her room.

I am happy, very happy. I am very fit too. Six weeks ago I could hardly walk for longer than 10 minutes and I had to stop every time for a little rest. However, yesterday, my lady said I was ready to start running next to her bicycle. O yes, I run these days. Unfortunately, I am not allowed to run loose. I am a good boy, but if I see something that excites me, I just ignore everything I have learned and just run off. Sometimes I am surprised myself what my teeth can bite through, so my lady is a little concerned that I might bite a small dog in half. That is why she keeps me on a lead. However, only 50 meters from our home is a large open field with a sand dune. On that field is some sort of human play construction with a long steel cable that holds a small seat. The seat can run across the cable. My lady connects my long 11 meter running line to the seat and than I can run around the grass field and up the hill as if I were free. Jolly. This is how my lady and I play football together. She never played football before and she said she now had muscle pain in places she never had muscle pain before. She's cool.

We have recorded a video today about us playing on the field. Is online now on Youtube.

Bull Terrier Harry Chan playing football.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9xZ77MtOQk

Have a great day, woof,

Harry Chan, Bull Terrier extraordinaire.

I prefer mildly lavender perfumed Kleenex as a toy

2011-08-28T14:06:00.000-07:00

This is me posing on the soccer field at the end of our forest lane close to our home. Behind the goal is a sand dune, about 30 feet high. To have a hill in your backyard is quite rare in a country below sea level.

Woof,

I have been very active these past three weeks, I almost forgot that I have a blog to concern myself with, ladies and gentlemen. After three days of ouch in my belly I finally feel okay again. My guardian was concerned every time I did one of those watery poops that just spout out of your arse like it's a kitchen tap. My lady gave me a little bread to eat to make it stop. I love bread, in all varieties. My lady still needs to google to see whether I should eat any bread at all.

Last week I managed to jump into a garbage bin to rip apart a plastic bag with half a stale French baguette that was baked two weeks ago. I don't care. I just lose my mind when it comes to food. I am a good boy, but I just don't mind eating a week old flattened cadaver of a rat from the street.... any street. O, fuck! That is how I got my belly problems! Yep, I am smart but sometimes I can be so stupid. LOL.

What goes in here...

comes out there. This picture I dedicate to my gay brothers. Sexy huh? I am not gay but I sympathise with them, poor fellows. I have many, many, many children.... here and abroad. O yeah I had my women, many, many fine wholesome ladies. Woof.

I had belly problems before. Two weeks ago. My lady and I were walking together in the street and I managed to throw my weight forward and run like a Greyhound so my lady had to let go, just to get to that rotten piece of steak that had fallen out of a bin in front of a palatial mansion. At least a pound of rrrrrr woof woof. I didn't care it made me sick the next day, I just lose my mind at times that anything digestible is in reach of my snout.

Having said that; I eat indigestible stuff too. Sometimes I am so enthusiastic about the prospect of stuffing food into my throat that I don't even care what I am eating. I see something small enough to fit into my face and I think: food, yummy, action, reaction. It's very Buddhist. Picture this: I see something, click in my brain: food, run towards it and ignore any obstacles including the lady that is attached to me. Open the mouth as wide as I can until my ears point in a funny direction. Put the thing in my mouth, swallow, look for more of the same, look for more of the same, look for more of the same. Respond to an upset guardian, reprimanding me and then nursing me back to safety saying: that is not something you should eat. And then she sticks her hand into my mouth until I barf the thing out. And then the lady pulls a face, saying. "What? What the fuck were you thinking, Harry Chan!"

So, I have been busy these past three weeks. I have had some great experiences like acting in movies that people can see all over the world on Youtube. Well, it's not acting really. It's more like a reality show, you know. Anyway, I will leave you with my promise to tell you a bit more about the past three weeks. They were fun and good. Getting a new guardian is a bit stressful, but thanks to this kind lady's efforts it was a more than pleasurable experience. I have seen and learned many new things, something that people overlook these days. Like a human, I get bored after staring at the same thing for 3 hours, let alone a whole day, and not to think of an entire life. When my new guardian came to get me, three weeks ago, she found me in a neat and professional setting with outside kennels with heating systems and metal fences. But I was bored and had a nervous tick. I would chase my tail. It doesn't lead to anything, it is just very disturbing. But if this disturbing behaviour is more fun than staring at a wall, you get my point. But I haven't been chasing my tail for 3 weeks now. My new guardian brought me into her place and started to build a life together with me. I wasn't just an accessory, no, I became part of her life. We share our lives together. I can feel it and it feels good. I matter. She cares about me. She cares about things I don't even realise until she points them out, like little injuries to my skin and tics. She checks me a few times a day. I gues that is something we all want, don't we? We want to be cared for. We want to sleep and rest in a place that is comfortable. We like our food, I even like plastics and other garbage until I barf them out again, and we like to feel safe. And if you're being loved and trained as well by someone who pretty much has an understanding of the needs of living beings, you're bloody lucky. I only know my new guardian three weeks exactly now, but I bet my life on it that she wants to build a beautiful relationship with me. I already love her, you know.

Okay, I am easy to read, right? I do feel emotional today which explains my tone of voice. In a world with so much human-created misery, anyone, human or not human may feel lucky to live a carefree life. I am lucky to have been adopted by this lady who always has this urge to change someone's life for the better. It is something that makes her happiest. To be able to change someone's life and make it better, more relaxed, less stressful, more close to the centre of the universe.... okay, I am overdoing it huh. It's because we've been watching a programme on TV about the Dalai Lama.

After that my guardian and I played. She had bought me tons of indestructible toys for big dogs with a 1600 pounds per square inch bite, but I don't care so much about them. I love to play with her hand. Her left hand or her right hand, I don't care, but the hands are something I love. Especially when the hand impersonates a spider that is running towards me. Love it. LOL.

I rip apart anything that is not made of NASA-material within seconds but I love to play with an invisible ball (my lady is very good at that / she has a thing for invisible things but later more on that) and it's also very inexpensive and much more fun, and I also play with paper kitchen towels that she makes into a little ball. I put it in my mouth but I also spit it out again, unlike other toys because I don't like the feeling of paper in my mouth. So when I spit it out, she can take it away and throw it away again. Normally I hold on to toys once given and my only goal is to destroy it. Once destroyed, I don't care about the toy any more and toys that I cannot destroy don't do it for me. Regarding paper toys, I prefer unchlorinated mildly lavender perfumed Kleenex. Now call me gay, I just don't care and my 1600 PPSI biting-tools care even less, you get me? The paper works for me and my lady likes it too.

You can find videos of me on Youtube. Try Harry Chan, and you'll find them. Follow me on Facebook, and sorry, I am not into Twitter, although I might find Tweets tasty and eat them, feathers and all.

Dogtalk to you next time.

Harry Chan,

Bull Terrier Extraordinaire

My first Tibetan Massage and Reiki session

2011-08-22T14:11:00.001-07:00

Hello everybody,

I wanted to tell you a little bit about today. After our 1-hour-long late morning, early afternoon walk, my new owner completely surprised me. We were catching our breath in the shade behind the house. I was thirsty and drank a whole lot of cold water. After I burped (I always need to burp like a truck driver after drinking) (I fart too BTW), my owner checked my whole body for little insects like tics and fleas. She never finds fleas but I had a tic the other day that she competently removed. Then she washed my face and ears with a white wash cloth. I tend to have a dirty face after sleeping or walking and she cleans it with that nice cool wet wash cloth. That feels good to my face. The cool cloth against my nose... lovely. She also brushed my fur. I don't lose much hair, just a few (I am not that old! haha!), but I like the feeling and it really makes us bond. I love it when she does my ass. Woof woof, I loooooove it when she rubs my ass indeed. Okay, back to the story. Pardon me for having a thing for my ass.

My lady gave me a so called Tibetan massage. She covered my whole body, from ears to toes and anything in between except my penis (what a shame!), and I loved it. I loved it how she massaged my big muscles in my hind legs and forelegs and then she checked and massaged all the digits in my feet. Isn't that wonderful? I think I am a lucky dog. I know many human males who would wish to get a massage like that from a nice looking lady with long blond hair. Woof woof. Rrrrrrrrrrr.

Here my lady channels universal energy into my belly button. Feeling good woof woof!

Don't I look handsome in this picture?

Ah, I am soooo feeling good.

Here I pose as if I am in deep intelligent philosophical thought.

After the Tibetan massage she gave me a Japanese Reiki treatment. I felt so relaxed and happy, I just allowed her to gently push me on my back, a position I usually do not enjoy that much. But under the influence of Japanese Reiki healing and Tibetan prayers, she may do with me whatever she wants. I love her.

You can also follow me on Facebook. Isn't that cool?

I will tell you a bit about my first encounter with a horse. I thought it was a very big dog that could carry its owner, but I now understand that it is a different type of animal. My lady made a video of our horse-experience.

Dogtalk to you next time,

Harry Chan, Bull Terrier extraordinaire.

May I introduce myself.

2011-08-18T01:52:00.000-07:00

My name is Harry Mingluck Chan. I am a six year old bull terrier with a history... but also a future. Ten days ago I moved to another part of the country to live with a lady. My previous owner was no longer able to take care of me and this new lady was willing to share her home with me, feed me and walk me. I can walk by myself, but going to the grocery store for dog food and organising a pretty home to live in are things that a human needs to provide for me. I like my new home and my new lady has already proven to be very sweet. She has also given me the opportunity to write this blog. That is: I use Google translate to interpret my dog-language into English.

I understand many languages but I do understand English best. My new owner speaks Dutch and English to me, but her commands are always in English and sometimes German. She only speaks German to me when I am naughty. I know it's German because she shouts it at me: NEIN!!

I know NEIN is German for NO, but spoken in German it sounds very serious, so if I don't listen to NO, I will definitely listen to NEIN.

Moving from my old home to this new home and getting this new lady in the process is by itself a very stressful situation. The first two days I just couldn't relax and my respiration was totally out of control. It was as if I had been running a marathon. All those new impressions were overwhelming. The cool thing about my new home is that it is located in the middle of a forest. It just can't get better than that for a dog. The first time my new owner took me for a walk, I couldn't believe my eyes and nose. So many different things to smell, so many things to see, so many different textures underneath my feet. Soft sand, leaves, various types of mosses, it's all there in the forest. It's so nice to walk on something different from asphalt. I like asphalt too, but not all the time. That night I couldn't sleep well. Though I was soooo tired, I was dreaming about walking in the woods and I even started to dream-run when I finally dosed off.

There are many different walks here and this lady tries to surprise me with a new routealmost every time we go out. We're doing many trips a day. We start the day with a short trip so that I can poop and pee. After I wake up I always have to poop and pee but I don't really like doing a long walk that early. But later in the morning we get all geared up and then the lady takes me into the woods for at least an hour. And I love it. After three hours rest at home we're going for an even longer walk. In the evening we have a shorter walk close to the home and before I go to sleep, I just pee during a short walk up and down the lane. I think the lady doesn't like to walk much when it's really dark. She doesn't need to be afraid though, as I will protect her.

I am getting better at walking with each trip and I can feel how much fitter I have become in just these past 10 days. I must admit, I came here with a weight and fitness problem as my previous owner had little time to walk with me. Those walks were more about pooping and pissing but there was little to explore as we took the same route in a concrete street every time I was left out of my cage in the back yard. I do miss my previous owner but with all these new impressions, I do realise I don't think about my old life that much any more. I think my previous owner likes it that way, otherwise she would feel very sad.

I don't have a cage now. Though I am not allowed to roam around freely, I do not feel caged in. Behind the house is an area with a high fence made of wood where the lady likes to sit in the morning as it has much privacy and sunshine. She also uses this area to do some of her human work. There is a little area with a roof where she put a big cushion for me to lie on. It is here where I don't need to wear my leash and where I can play and feel safe. I know that other animals cannot come into this area and that is a relaxing idea. When the weather is bad, we just rest in the house. The lady lies down on the couch looking at one of those talking boxes that have become quite flat these past few years or she works at her desk behind another thing with a similar screen. She likes to stroke that thing with her fingers, but it's called work. Next to the couch is my big cushion with a crème coloured fleece blanket. It's close enough to the couch for the lady to be able to stroke me. And I love that! I must admit, I do already love this new lady a little and I think she loves me too.

Well, let me wrap up this first post. I think I will go online a few times a week to write about my new adventures with this new lady in the forest. She has even made a video of me going into the forest for the first time. You can hear how excited I am and see me walking beautifully. Here's the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1EcPT7wypM

Dogtalk to you next time,

Harry Chan, bull terrier extraordinaire.